Sabathia Gets Paid

According to everyone CC Sabathia is getting crazy money to go to the Yankees.

We're way too lazy and dumb to understand WHIP and ERA+ and BABIP. However, we do know fat. CC Sabathia is fat. He also threw a ridiculous amount of innings last season which makes for a bad combo. Don't get us wrong he's probably got a couple of nice years left, but a fat 28-year-old dude can get by on his youth. A fat 32-year-old dude no longer has youth on his side. Just ask Andruw Jones.

And nobody need remind us that Babe Ruth was also very fat. David Wells and Charles Barkley are pretty fat too. We're generally pro obesity, particularly when it comes to professional athletes. Terry Forster and John Kruk are two of our favorites (we've been scouring YouTube for the Late Night clip with Forster eating a sandwich). We're just saying that if we were to invest $160 million in a dude, we'd prefer he not be fat.

Of course we root for a team that signs old, kinda fat, and definitely injured dudes.


Couldn't find the clip we wanted, but this one's pretty good.