Jeff Kent grew up in Orange County, which is usually reason enough to go to the mat for a dude. Not to mention his unironic 'stache rocks harder (rocks harder?) than Harry Reems'. But Jesus frickin' Christ, it's Vin Scully. Vin freakin' Scully. Vin Scully? Is Simers' next column going to highlight Kent's distaste for cancer kids? Does The 'Stache club baby seals in the off season?
Maybe it's just his ham handed way of explaining Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc? He just wanted to demonstrate that just because his 40-year-old bat seemed to come alive after the acquisition of the most feared right-handed bat of this generation, that doesn't mean that his 40-year-old bat came alive because of the acquisition of the most feared right-handed bat of this generation. And oh by the way, fuck Vin Scully. Duly noted. He did go to Berkeley, right?