Dear Andre, We're Officially Gay for You

For a guy that pretty much gets worked in every trade he makes, Ned Colletti still gets a pass for the one deal in which he clearly won. Ned we forgive you for Lance Carter, Danys Baez and Julio Lugo. Well, not really. Those trades were colossally dopey, even for Ned. The fact that the Dodgers were able to get anything for Milton Bradley when the whole world knew he had to go is amazing. But Andre Ethier? He was a known commodity, an outfielder with tremendous upside.

Manny Ramirez is arguably the best right-handed hitter of his generation, and Matt Kemp is one of the most talented players to don the blue in recent memory. But there's something about Ethier. Those other guys are so good that they make it seem too easy. Ethier gives off the vibe that he is getting everything out of his ability. Maybe its the streakiness, the slumps? Do his struggles make his successes that much more savory? We don't like to get all "heart and soul" with it, but with apologies to all you Russell Martin fans - Ethier is it. Don't give us the numbers. We'll do it like Plaschke, with our eyes and superior reasoning. Ladies and gentlemen (ladies?) your 2009 Los Angeles Dodgers MVP, Andre Ethier.

Breaking News: Dodgers Acquire Hall of Fame Hitter and Some Other Dude That Pretty Much Sucks

I bet Eric Stults is really regretting that three way with Mrs. Torre and Mrs. Colletti right about now. The Dodgers have literally done everything they could to keep him off the Dodger Stadium mound. Even going so far as to acquire a mostly terrible Jon Garland last night. And that's not even the worst part. It sounds like the Cabal of Ineptitude - always willing to sell low - are reportedly giving up Tony Abreu for the privilege of Garland's crappy services for the rest of the year.

In return, the White Sox will receive Minor League infielder Justin Fuller. The D-backs will receive a player to be named, who, according to several Dodgers, will be Tony Abreu, but Abreu needs to first clear waivers. Abreu once was considered a top infield prospect, but his progress was stalled by three years of injuries.

This post is not without praise however. The Cabal also did something smart last night in acquiring future Hall of Famer Jim Thome to sit on the bench and scare the shit out of opposing managers.