Breaking News: LA Times Also Gay for Ethier

No surprise here. The LA Times - or what's left of it - totally bit our Andre Ethier post of a couple days back. Like you, they are unable to keep their eyes off of our effluent genius. No worries, our story was way funnier and totally loaded with homoeroticism (totally loaded with homoeroticism? We're officially contemplating retirement as we're positive we'll never produce anything even remotely that good again). What were we saying? The Times is all gay for Andre just like us, but they do it with a lot of Ned Colletti ass kissing. As usual we like us better.

We Couldn't be More Smitten

Yesterday we came out of the Ethier closet, only to have him double and score the tying run in the ninth, and blast yet another walk-off home run in the 13th inning. It's cool Andre, but we're already as gay as we can possibly be for you.

Dear Andre, We're Officially Gay for You

For a guy that pretty much gets worked in every trade he makes, Ned Colletti still gets a pass for the one deal in which he clearly won. Ned we forgive you for Lance Carter, Danys Baez and Julio Lugo. Well, not really. Those trades were colossally dopey, even for Ned. The fact that the Dodgers were able to get anything for Milton Bradley when the whole world knew he had to go is amazing. But Andre Ethier? He was a known commodity, an outfielder with tremendous upside.

Manny Ramirez is arguably the best right-handed hitter of his generation, and Matt Kemp is one of the most talented players to don the blue in recent memory. But there's something about Ethier. Those other guys are so good that they make it seem too easy. Ethier gives off the vibe that he is getting everything out of his ability. Maybe its the streakiness, the slumps? Do his struggles make his successes that much more savory? We don't like to get all "heart and soul" with it, but with apologies to all you Russell Martin fans - Ethier is it. Don't give us the numbers. We'll do it like Plaschke, with our eyes and superior reasoning. Ladies and gentlemen (ladies?) your 2009 Los Angeles Dodgers MVP, Andre Ethier.